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Show Notes
In this episode, Louise covers:
Arriving with Grace: The Check-In Experience
First impressions matter on both sides of the reception desk. Louise discusses the importance of arriving with patience and warmth, greeting staff by name where possible, communicating your needs clearly and courteously, and the etiquette of requesting an upgrade or a room change without a sense of entitlement.
A guiding principle to share with listeners: the staff member at reception has an enormous influence over the quality of your stay. Treat them as you would treat a valued host, because in every meaningful sense, they are.
Interacting with Hotel Staff Throughout Your Stay
How to engage with concierge staff, room service teams, porters, valets and housekeeping with genuine courtesy. Specific points to cover include:
- Always greet staff warmly and by name where their name badge allows
- A simple “good morning” and eye contact costs nothing and means a great deal
- When making requests, ask rather than instruct; “Would it be possible to…” is always more gracious than “I need…”
- If a member of staff goes above and beyond, acknowledge it specifically and personally, not merely with a tip
The Art of Tipping: Who, How Much, and How to Do It Discreetly
One of the most genuinely confusing areas of hotel etiquette, and one where cultural context matters enormously. Louise covers:
- Porters and bellstaff: a suggested amount per bag, and the etiquette of the moment of handover
- Concierge staff: when and how to tip for exceptional service or complex arrangements
- Housekeeping: the often overlooked art of leaving a daily tip on the pillow or bedside table in a clearly marked envelope, rather than a lump sum at checkout, which may not reach the correct person
- Room service: whether a gratuity is already included in the bill, and what to add if it is not
- Tipping across cultures: countries where tipping is expected, countries where it is unnecessary, and the one or two places where it may be considered mildly offensive. Japan and certain parts of Scandinavia are wonderful examples to discuss here.
The Etiquette of Shared Hotel Spaces
The pool, the gym, the spa, the lobby, the lift and the hotel restaurant each carry their own unspoken codes of conduct. Louise covers:
- Pool etiquette: reserving sun loungers with towels left unattended for hours is widely considered one of the most inconsiderate habits of the modern traveller. Louise’s view on this, delivered with her characteristic warmth and authority, will resonate with listeners.
- Gym etiquette: wiping equipment after use, keeping music to earphones, and being mindful of space
- Spa etiquette: the importance of silence, punctuality for treatments, and respectful behaviour in shared relaxation areas
- Lift etiquette in hotels: holding the door, acknowledging fellow guests, and the art of a gracious, brief exchange
- Noise in corridors and rooms: a particular issue in hotels, especially late at night or in the early morning, and one that is entirely within every guest’s control
Raising a Complaint with Poise and Dignity
This is an area where many people either say nothing and seethe quietly, or overcorrect into a manner that is demanding or unkind. Louise offers a third way:
- Address concerns at the earliest opportunity rather than allowing frustration to build
- Speak to the appropriate person calmly; the front desk rather than the nearest member of staff
- Use measured, clear language: “I wonder if you might be able to help me with something” opens a conversation far more effectively than an accusation
- Allow the hotel the opportunity to resolve the matter before escalating
- If the matter is resolved well, acknowledge it graciously; a staff member who handles a complaint with care deserves recognition just as much as one who prevents a problem in the first place
Example wording to share: “I don’t wish to make a fuss at all, but I did want to mention that the room has been quite warm this evening and I haven’t been able to regulate the temperature. I wonder whether someone might be able to assist me?”
Hotel Amenities: What Is Acceptable and What Is Not
The perennial question, answered with clarity and good humour:
- Toiletries provided for guest use: generally perfectly acceptable to take, as they are replenished daily and budgeted for accordingly
- Bathrobes and towels: provided for use during your stay, not as souvenirs. Many hotels will offer to sell you a robe if you admire it, which is the elegant solution
- Stationery, pens, and small branded items left on the desk: typically fine to take
- Anything bolted down, fixed to the wall, or itemised on a removal charge list in your welcome folder: not acceptable, and not worth the embarrassment
Louise’s rule of thumb: if you would feel awkward if a member of staff saw you placing it in your suitcase, it should remain in the room.
Leaving with Consideration: The Art of a Gracious Checkout
How you leave a hotel room reflects your character just as much as how you behaved throughout your stay:
- Gather all personal belongings carefully; contact the hotel promptly if you discover you have left something behind
- Treat the room with the same basic respect you would wish for in your own home; this does not mean making the beds, but it does mean not leaving it in a state of unnecessary disorder
- Consider leaving a small handwritten note of thanks for housekeeping staff, particularly if your stay has been a long one or the service has been exceptional. This small gesture is remembered.
- Check out on time, or communicate in advance if you require a late checkout; the housekeeping schedule of an entire floor may depend upon it
Resources and References Mentioned:
- Episode 40: Cultivating Courtesy at 30,000 Feet, for in-flight etiquette
- Episode 67: Home Away from Home, for homestay etiquette
- The Percy Institute Private Consultation service, for personalised travel etiquette guidance
Connect with Louise
New episodes of Manners and Other Matters are released every second Thursday. If you enjoyed today’s episode, please subscribe, leave a review, and share with someone who would love it.
Links & Mentions
- The Art of an Elegant Life Masterclass
- Upcoming courses
- Visit The Percy Institute for courses and coaching in modern etiquette and elegant living. https://thepercyinstitute.com
- To learn how to network with confidence, explore The Business Etiquette Courses available in person and online. https://thepercyinstitute.com/corporate-courses/
Have a question for Louise?
Submit it via Instagram @ThePercyInstitute or email us at l.percy@thepercyinstitute.com
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