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Show Notes
Today, I have one of my favourite segments for you: “Ask Louise.” It’s your social etiquette dilemma questions, and they’re quite varied for this episode. Let’s start with the first one:
Question: Do I need to return my engagement ring if my fiancé called off our engagement?
This is a difficult one, isn’t it? I must share with you that I once had an engagement called off, so my advice is based on both personal experience and tradition. If you were given an engagement ring, it’s essentially a gift—a promise of marriage. If you break off the engagement, you should return the ring. If your fiancé breaks it off, you should offer to return the ring, and ideally, kindness and consideration will prevail, and you may be invited to keep it. However, if it’s a family heirloom, it should be returned regardless of who broke off the engagement. Other pieces of jewellery given during your courtship are gifts and not promises, so it’s reasonable to keep them as a reminder of the past, hopefully without too much sadness.
Question: Is there a shift in opening children’s presents at parties these days?
Indeed, there has been a shift. When my children were young, we always opened gifts during the party so the recipient could thank the child who gave the gift. Nowadays, with so many attractions at children’s parties—whether it’s guest clowns or bouncy castles—the gifts are often thanked for upon receipt and opened later. In my own experience with my grandchildren, my daughter makes sure they write thank you notes or at least make a phone call to thank the giver, especially if the giver is from an older generation who might not appreciate a text.
Question: How do you end a short acquaintance or friendship without ghosting?
Ending a short acquaintance or friendship can be tricky. Ghosting—simply stopping communication without explanation—isn’t the best approach. Instead, gradually becoming less available is a gentler way to let the relationship naturally fade into a more casual acquaintance. If confronted, you can be honest and explain that you’re managing your time carefully due to other commitments. It’s important to handle this with respect to avoid any hard feelings.
Question: What do you do if you invite friends to dinner and make a dish from a secret family recipe, and someone asks for the recipe?
This can indeed be awkward. If the recipe is a closely guarded family secret, you could say, “I’ve made a slight alteration to the original recipe and would be happy to share this version with you.” This keeps the secret ingredient under wraps while still being generous with your culinary creation.
Question: My boyfriend doesn’t introduce me to his friends or anyone, leaving me completely out of place. What should I do?
The etiquette guideline is that if two or more people don’t know each other, they must be introduced. It’s perfectly appropriate to expect your boyfriend to introduce you to his friends. If he doesn’t, gently encourage him to do so, as it will make social situations much more comfortable for you.
Question: Is it rude to leave a party without saying goodbye to the hosts if I’ve already thanked them for their hospitality?
For large gatherings, it’s sometimes acceptable to slip away without a formal goodbye, especially if the host is busy. However, I prefer to mention in advance that I may need to leave early, so if the host doesn’t see me go, they’ll know why. A thank you message the next day is also essential, whether it’s a handwritten note, email, or text, depending on your relationship with the host.
Louise’s Top Tip
Always be mindful of showing consideration, respect and kindness with all the people you meet…family, social friends, and business colleagues.
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